Who I Am

Who I am
    

If you asked me 5 years ago who i though i would be today, I would have said this : a graduate, a nurse, a good person. I would be someone people would think about and smile. A famous poet, maybe. or an apprentice to my mom. At 15 I had all kinds of ideas of who I would be, where I would be. New York, San Fransisco, somewhere exciting. At 17, I was planning on going to a school in New York to be come an Actor. Doing the applications with my then best friend was a ball. But, I couldn't justify leaving Spokane for myself.
 

Flash forward 5 years and here I am. Laying on my bed, writing a blog about who I am. I have some lyrics stuck in my head that make perfect sense right now.  "I'm a saint and I'm a sinner, I'm a loser; I'm a winner,I am steady and unstable,I'm young, but I am able". When I look back on who i thought I would be, I am not at all surprised that none of those things happened.  5 years ago, I wanted nothing more than to be who my family wanted me to be. But, as time went on, I realized how unfair that was. I was putting their happiness over mine. That wasn't how I wanted to be remembered. I wanted to be remembered as a bold, loyal, and  honest person. My mom used to say that I was loyal and honest to a fault. Sometimes, I would say that she was right.

 Flash forward to 5 years from now. I will be 25, and married for 5 years. Hopefully I will have a child or two. At 25, a lot of big things are going to happen, that, quite honestly, terrify me. I change in a way my mom didn't have a choice to do. But that's a different can of worms for a different day. In the next five years, I want to be as great of a mother and person that she turned out to be.