Hear You Me
A week ago something tragic happened in my life again. My sister died. Yep. My 24 year old sister died. I’ve been struggling for the right words to explain how I feel and on how to deal with and accept the fact that this happened. And honestly? I still don’t know. I was talking to my friends and finally found the words to describe the brokenness inside of me, and the lump in my throat. I’ve found the words that explain how I am barely holding my shit together long enough to go to work and come home. It feels like my heart was ripped out of my chest. Like every fiber of my being is being shot over and over again with buckshot. Like I am being pulled apart like taffy. I am riddled with holes and pulled too thin. I feel everything and nothing. I want to scream and yell but I also just want to sleep and never leave my bed again. When my sister died, a part of me did too. The part that was reserved for me. After my mom died I didn’t think I would ever feel this much pain. This much sorrow